Hello again! It's been so easy to neglect writing this finishing entry in the summer challenge. I guess that's part of the whole reason for this blog: it's easy to give up your initiatives, and to lack motivation. But the work of recovery demands the rigorous honesty of assessing the situation and the simple willingness to start again.
Here's the story of how I'm staying motivated despite a little detour.
I turned 30! At the end of May I headed south to Florida for a birthday celebration with friends. What's awesome is that on the 3rd day of vacation, I hit the 50% mark of loss, which is to say I weighed in at 232lbs!
To underestimate this importance is to really give a negative spin towards the little hiatus I've taken in writing. My friends took me to Busch Gardens so I could ride roller coasters. I haven't been able to ride certain theme park rides for years because of my weight. When I look at the advantage list that I first wrote in treatment, I am so glad to check this off as a fulfillment of that original hope.
(Sheikra at Busch Gardens Tampa)
Having accomplished these things, I feel in a certain way that my original goal since starting this journey has been met. I am so excited to share this news with you.
(Ringing in my 30th birthday with friends)
It's then that the 30th birthday came, I celebrated well with friends, and became a little less resistant with regard to the food for celebrations. I was also stressed at home, with some uncertainty with regard to where I would be serving for the future. My recent doctors visits also enter in, as we still have not determined the reason for why I am experiencing swelling in my leg.
I remained really active during my vacation, also taking on biking outdoors frequently. I made the decision that upon return I would buy a bike.
Coming home, I stepped on the scale. Whatever the factors, I had to deal with an 8 pound weight gain in the space of a week. After some water weight came off immediately, I estimate that there was still a 5-6 pound weight gain for the week. I felt discouraged by this, but did not give up tracking or reaching out to friends.
I got right back on track, though I didn't take directly to writing about it. I had to connect with the idea that my recovery is still a process, my struggles are real, and I need to work through them. Writing exactly what I was feeling would take some time because various stress factors were still presenting themselves. I can say that after returning to my regular diet and exercise regimen, I have lost all the weight I gained. I have now crossed the 50% mark, weighing in at 229. When I started this process, 230 was my goal weight. I am so happy to have made that goal.
(Out biking, helmet on backwards)
I bought that bike, and have been out with friends biking. Little things to humble me: I found out I had my helmet on backwards, and recently the ball of my left foot has been aching so much I can't work out the way I would like. Nevertheless, the idea on the horizon would be to train for a triathlon.
My weight goals have not been met yet. It's a struggle when I continue to assert this with some people. The reality is that I at least can stand to lose another 30lbs before we start talking about skin surgery. It's increasingly becoming an issue, as working with my trainer is helping to unearth those muscles and show the difference between what I hope will remain and what that excess skin looks like.
I have to say that despite this pain in my foot, I feel the fittest I have ever been. I'm excited for the training with Erica to continue, because I have experienced lately a great surge in my muscular development. I have reframed this little blip in my weight as an important reminder that I need to remain faithful to my 12 steps and eating behaviors everyday.
Just as "one day within his courts is better than a thousand elsewhere": Nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels!
(Me and my niece at Six Flags)
