Big E success!

I was joking with my friends that there should be an ambassador of health for the Big E. Someone was like, you should write a blog about losing weight at the fair. For those of you who don't know, the Big E is the largest fair in the Northeast, and is held every September here in West Springfield. 

The crazy amounts of food can be overwhelming to anyone, from the Big E creampuffs to the deep fried whatever you can think of. If you aren't paying attention, I think anyone instantly gains a pound when they walk in the gate. But, that's if you're not paying attention! 

The truth is, this food addict made it through the Big E season without gaining a pound! Here's the breakdown:

1. I walked pretty much 15000-20000 steps a day each time I went to the Big E. And I went probably 5-6 times this year. 

2. I completely avoided trigger foods. I had to say goodbye to the famous cheese curds and the buckets of wings. 

3. I logged all my food. This can be hard at the fair, but it's a must. Today we celebrate St Jerome who said Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. Well, ignorance of what you're eating is ignorance of how to lose weight. 

4. On days in which I may have overindulgence, say at the V-One tent---shout out to my good friend Paul Kozub---the next day was followed with a cleanse of sorts, and increased cardio at the gym. 

5. I began taking spinning classes. 45 minutes and 15-19 miles on a bike = bingo. 

6. I had fun. 

The Big E was a huge success this year. And even though some of the days I feel like I'm plateauing, I have to remember that in September I've lost 15 pounds l, 5 lbs more than the 10 pound per month average as of late. That is a huge success for me!

I want to thank Mr Cassidy and the Big E staff for allowing me to say Mass under the Big Top of the Big E Circus this year. It was an experience I hope to repeat next year. They taught us in seminary that the priest is not a ringmaster at the circus. Well, not all things you learn in seminary pan out in ministry!!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Jesus was made present under a several story high daredevil motorcycle rig. Pretty darn cool. 

Dropping the Rock

On my trip to Guest House it was impressed upon us that the 6th and 7th steps are really important milestones of recovery that we should be accomplishing about 6 months outside of treatment. 

Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

For me, I've been stuck on these steps for months. I have so many resentments that I harbor. Yes, I can bring them to confession, yes I can talk about them with people that I trust. But it is so hard psychologically to let go of the weight of what others have done to you when they themselves are in no position to make amends or deal with their own character defects. 

The image was given to us of a swimmer coming to shore, but this swimmer is carrying a gigantic rock. This rock symbolizes all the character defects and resentments one is carrying. Because of the weight it is nearly impossible for the swimmer to swim to shore. In fact the swimmer is exhausted and might even start to sink. The thing is, intuitively the swimmer knows the right thing to do is let go of it, but he or she just keeps holding on, is if it's a life preserver. All the swimmer needs to do is drop the rock. 

Of course, steps 6 and 7 involve a power greater than ourselves which can help us to do that. At the end of the day, I can run to the cross for my strength. I need to becoming willing to let God do what I cannot do for myself. Maybe I can't drop these resentments on my own. God, help me drop the rock! 

Triumphant return to Minnesota

Last week I was able to return to Guest House for a sixth month continuing care retreat. Let's say the return was triumphant. I made my 50lbs weight loss goal since leaving Guest House, and weighed in at the RAC at 311, -153lbs lighter than when I began there Oct 22nd of last year. 

I was filled with emotion as I met other guest house alums, and we marveled mutually at our transformations. I am so inspired by my brothers. The retreat was focused on the dangers of relapse and fully entering into the 12 steps. The danger is real, as some of us have really struggled. It is great to take this moment and reevaluate some of my behaviors so as to give my recovery the greatest chance of success. 

It is sad to see Guest House shut down in Rochester. There are some significant challenges it faces ahead in its transition to Michigan. The administration has asked me to make some recommendations for the food addiction program, as they have the opportunity to craft a new program in a new location. I am happy to see the number of Damascus clients growing. Dioceses are becoming aware of the needs of their priests for recovery from compulsive eating and for weight loss. I believe it will be incumbent on the program to integrate these key aspects of recovery. 

I was very sad to leave the RAC. I likely won't be returning to Rochester, unless it is for my 12 step community, to which I owe a debt of gratitude. I hope I can stay in touch with my trainers and friends in recovery. I just wish I could transport it all to Massachusetts. 

Returning to Springfield is hard, but I am motivated to keep up my recovery here. I want to lose another 80lbs by June 2nd. I'm going to need to hunker down and focus on cutting out extra calories. With the Big e and with a great harvest season ahead, it should prove a bit of a challenge. Staying strong in the grace of God, and with my support system. I will always remember Minnesota. 

You'll never walk alone

I love the words of that inspirational song from Rogers and Hammerstein's musical Carousel, "You'll Never Walk Alone":

When you walk through the storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark

Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

I found myself humming the fantastic version by David Phelps (my favorite tenor right now...praying I get to see him in Boston this next week!) on the last half of my walk last night after a graced encounter with a stranger out for a walk. 

This person stopped me to ask directions to Boston Road, and I said I was heading there. I felt like one of those running gurus who pick up followers on the way. When I introduced myself as Father it immediately framed the conversation. There was a lot of hurt from a past experience of the Church. 

It's moments like these that make me know that God is the one in control. But I am also deeply saddened and frustrated in some of my predecessors. I can't tell you how many people have left the Church because a priest once told them when they were young that they were going to hell. I don't want to accuse every priest, or judge pastoral situations, but it's happened so much and the stories are too frequent to deny that this was the message given to so many people. 

Instead, I believe in a God that always walks with us, even when we are unfaithful. He's always calling us back to himself. Perhaps this was a step back in the right direction. And at least for the last half of my 4 mile journey last night, I knew God was walking with me. 

The Assumption, on being still, and an experiment

Yesterday was a holy day of obligation, and one of great profundity. Celebrating the last of the great Marian dogmas, the Church focused on the mystery of the Assumption. Besides Masses, I was able to two things good for myself. 1. I went to the gym...because, as I said on Facebook, this body ain't assumed! And 2. I made a good confession. 

Steps 4 and 5 of the 12 say we should make a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves, then admit to ourselves, to God, and to another person the exact nature of our wrongs. This can be so freeing psychologically when done on a programmatic level...but this is a true encounter with Jesus in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I needed it, and it keeps me going.

The mystery of the Assumption is not so hard to figure out. It's only logical that the sinless Virgin wouldn't see corruption even in death, but it's so hard to translate this logic to us who are sinful. That is, until we look to her Son, who paid the price for our sins. We won't see eternal corruption if we believe in her Son. This is where steps 4 and 5 can not be complete without an actual encounter of Jesus, who takes away our sins. 

Today I woke up and said Mass, then got in a car with friends and headed to Spencer Abbey in Spencer, Ma to have a half day retreat. It was great to be still even more with the Lord who loves me and has mercy on me. I walked around the beautiful property for half of my exercise for the day (I swam tonight). It is certainly a magnificent place. 

When at lunch, even though I was tempted to stray, I continued in a new effort since yesterday, an experiment, really. Part religious, part let's see what effects it has...I'm giving up meat for a while. Don't know how long. Don't know if I'll even be able to keep it up. But it's something I'm gonna try. I've stuck to it for two days now. Vamos a ver. 

Romans 14:17

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drink, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. -Romans 14:17

This week there has certainly been a lot to be joyful about. Our new Bishop, Mitchell Rosanski, was installed as the 9th Bishop of Springfield. The Cathedral was filled with so much enthusiasm, thanksgiving, and hope that the future of our Diocese will be carefully and prudently guided by the warm figure of our new shepherd. Bishop Mitchell is definitely a welcome addition to our Diocese, and a very pleasant man to meet. I have met him now on three occasions, and each encounter has shown him to be kind and approachable. I thank Bishop Timothy for his many kindnesses to me since I have returned to Guest House, especially for his acknowledgment of my accomplishments and the care with which he notices my continued progress. I wish him the best in retirement, and pray for him good health and many years as Bishop emeritus in our Diocese. 

The Scripture passage quoted above also is a sobering reminder that the work I do to keep my body, mind, and soul healthy is always at the service of a greater good, that of the kingdom. If it were simply the case that I am on this journey for myself, there wouldn't be a need to even write this blog. If it were about the food or the drink, if it were simply about telling you what to eat or what to avoid, I would get lost amongst all the other diet and calories club websites and blogs out there. And I'm no expert in this, I still struggle! But, the truth of the matter is that the end goal of this is not perfect bodily health for my own sake or for yours, it is the fact that my present endeavors are meant to sustain a lifetime of service to God's Church for the sake of the Kingdom of God. 

The simple truth is that in serving my higher power, I hope to be filled with righteousness, peace, and the joy of the Holy Spirit, and that, through this witness, many others will come to know the same blessings in their lives. They are something that food or drink can never give....well, unless we are talking about the Holy Eucharist!

Feast of the Transfiguration

Happy Feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord! Mountaintop experiences are certainly my favorite things to talk about these days. I love climbing, the exhilaration, the excitement as you're drawing near the top, the view, and the realization that there's still a quad killing journey down. Today's feast day celebrates an important climb where Jesus shows his disciples the goal, the light at the end of the tunnel. Life certainly changes when you encounter Jesus, and he will show you that even in the midst of suffering, there is glory to come, there is hope.

For those of you struggling to make it through your food plan, exercise routine, work, home life, sinfulness, or sickness, Jesus is your hope and strength. Listen to him at Mass, read his word in Scripture, contemplate the mystery of the Transfiguration. Ask the Lord to help change you, to give you a little glimpse of the life to come.

It is awesome when I meet someone whom I haven't seen in a year and they are in awe of the transformation that has occurred. They often refer to the sparkle in my eyes. That's all the Lord.