So good, so good, so good!

I shared in my twelve step meeting this morning how I went out with a band after their awesome gig a couple days ago. I was a little hesitant going to a Chinese restaurant late at night. Chinese happens to be one of my binge foods. I could eat and eat and eat. It's so good, so good, so good. 

Luckily people knew what I was about, and also it had been a religious event in which I just had an amazing encounter with my higher power. I felt confident that I could keep to my calorie count for the day, log the food I was going to have and not overeat.

I did just that. But even then, it was difficult seeing the mounds of food, the food left over, watch normal eaters go to town and then lose interest. As I smelled the food, I was reminded of the bags of Chinese I used to consume, the pain of the stress that used to drive me to it, the obsession of the mind that it used to be. I get great as other people took home the left overs. 

The next couple of days have been an interesting reminder that even if the obsession might be handled, the allergy of the body is still there. Even though it fit into my calorie count, it seems that I've plateaued in weight loss this week. My body said, yea, I used to crave this food, and now I want more, and darn it, why aren't you giving me more? I've felt very sluggish. Just more of the realization that some foods just aren't good for me, even if they may be ok for others. It's not that I will never have Chinese food again, or that I can't be invited to one of these restaurants, but I have to be more discerning of the type of food I'm eating. And that will be a huge sacrifice! Because isn't it so good, so good, so good? 

Abstinence in food addiction is described as abstaining from the destructive eating behaviors and from all individual binge foods. All I know is that nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels.