You can't run from being fat. You can't hide it at all. I want to say this with all sensitivity, as I know there are people out there that suffer from other eating disorders and body issues where they believe they are fat but really aren't. From my time in support groups I know that there are skinny people who overeat and who do suffer from food addiction, as well. But for the majority of food addicts the one unfortunate consequence is that you gain weight, and at a certain point you stop caring. You never stop caring about what people think, though. It's obvious to them that you have a problem. They can see it. It's obvious to you that you have a problem, but shame and those staring eyes have caused you to suppress your feelings, or they have forced you to eat to deal with the pain. There is no anonymity in this disease, at least until you learn to control it. As a priest once said, "We are overeaters obvious."
What to do about it? My process of healing was such that it took a great amount of effort and time with diet and exercise to where I felt comfortable to take my shirt off in the gym locker room, to plunge "lightly clad" into the hot tub there. It was a path of personal acceptance that involved so many factors, some of them very personal that I would only share with my closest friends.
And that's the number one factor: Friends. Friends that get you. Friends that get it.
If you are to embark on a journey of weight loss and recovery, you need friends that know you through and through. Friends that don't see the obvious, but see what's going on under all those layers that you've gained. You need friends that are going through the struggle, too, that know where you've been, that can give you their experience, strength and hope. You need an inner circle of people to whom you can say anything.
As a confessor, I know that some of us would rather save the inner most dirt for the confessional and live a truncated life where we hide under the seal of confession and go on eating to cope with the fact that we just can't make the change that we need to make. I did it for years. But breaking free from the power of the disease involves much more than confession (It's a wonderful and needed Sacrament, btw!). It involves being comfortable with the obvious and the not so obvious, the visible and the invisible. It involves having the freedom of knowing that there is somebody you can talk to at any hour of the day that either knows exactly what's going on or would be clued in if you just picked up that telephone and called or texted.
There will be friends that don't get it. That's the hardest thing to deal with. You might be tempted to write them out completely. Yet, remember that not everyone is equipped to deal with an addiction. Part of one's recovery process might be making amends to people that one has hurt in the midst of their active addiction, or even because of starting a process of recovery. Some friends will cease to be friends. This is perfectly normal and ok. As a now famous Disney movie says, let it go.
I say all of this as my best friend is hopping on a plane in France and flying to stay with me for two weeks. He came out to visit me in Minnesota, as did my older sister and another friend of mine. We're driving out to Pittsburgh next week to celebrate the wedding of some college friends. It'll be a Steubie reunion! I have been so incredibly blessed with good friends. I love them. They are the reason I have recovered the way I have. To my friends, thank you. It's not obvious why someone sticks around when you are in the midst of addiction, but a true and faithful friend always does.
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