Divine Mercy, Sts. John Paul II and John XXIII, and recovery

Today the whole Church rejoices with the Second Sunday of Easter, also known as Divine Mercy Sunday, and the Canonizations by Pope Francis of Saints John Paul II and John XXIII. I have decided also on this day to begin blogging about my weight loss journey, after multiple requests, and after attending the Springfield Diocesan Women's Conference yesterday, where I was able to share a lot about my journey with many women who were congratulating me.

My Weight Loss journey in a nut shell:
I have struggled with my weight since I was a child, when my Father, who had already been separated from my family, decided to move back to Puerto Rico when he found out he had cancer. Since he left when I was nine and died from the cancer when I was 12, I started to gain weight, right around the time a child goes through major normal transitions in life. I slowly worked my way up to 300lbs, and then my senior year of high school I had a major knee injury and was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma within a span of months. After four months of chemo and radiation, I was cancer free, but could not continue the workouts in the gym that I had begun in school. After graduation, I moved on to university life, where I found a spiritual renewal of self at Franciscan University of Steubenville. My weight had shot up to 388, but I had a sort of spiritual awakening where I needed to take care of myself. I finally had enough strength to start working out and lost about 25 pounds with just little changes in diet and exercise.

I graduated from Franciscan in 2007, and from there entered St. John's Seminary in Boston to study to be a priest. Seminary life is rigorous, not only academically, but on so many other fronts. One really examines the person, in human, in intellectual, in pastoral, in spiritual terms. My spiritual awakening led to a true commitment to lose weight along with help from faculty, friends, and a nutritionist at a local hospital. I began to use a shake replacement system called Isagenix and working out with an elliptical machine and the P90X dvd workout system. In three short months I lost 70lbs and continued to lose weight over a year or so. My lowest weight in seminary was 268. I was in the best health of my adult life, finally at 24 years old.

As I grew closer to ordination, life started to change. Real responsibility, lots of travel, and growing stress started to take their toll on my resolutions and habits. I began a new post which would be my Diaconate parish in Westfield, MA. Every weekend I would travel back and forth between the seminary in Boston and the parish in Westfield. I started to eat on the go. I worked out less.

When I was ordained a priest, I had to move into the parish setting completely. We had a high school, a large Hispanic community, and lots of ministry. I had a lot of responsibility all at once. The stress started to increase. I coped with isolation and with food. Over the next year and a half I gained all the weight I had lost back. I tried to start working out again with a trainer and met with a dietician. I suffered a back injury and things at work weren't getting better. I became very depressed. I needed a change.

I asked for a transfer of parish, and this request took about 6 months. In that time I gained another 70 or so pounds. My health declined. My depression worsened. I finally was granted the transfer and my spirit was lifted.

But the unhealthy eating continued and the new regimen I wanted just couldn't get started on my own power. I began to realize that what I needed wasn't just a parish change, it was a change of my whole way of life. I began to make this known to certain people, especially my pastor, but wondered when I would get the time and energy to make the change.

Thankfully the decision was made for me. I received a call from my Bishop in September of 2013, calling me into his office to talk about my health. He graciously offered to me a treatment program in Rochester, MN called Guest House. Guest House is an addiction treatment facility for Catholic clergy and religious, run independently of the Church. I was angry at first about the timing, as I had some concerts and things planned, but when was it the right time? Obviously I needed a change right then!

I quickly packed and headed to Minnesota, not realizing that what lied ahead was the start of one of the coldest winters the Midwest has seen in years. I took it on faith that this would be the start of a different way of life for me. I arrived for a program that was not necessarily equipped to handle all the aspects of food addiction and weight loss, but contained great counseling, the support of other brother priests/deacons/brothers/seminarians struggling with different addictions, and the support of the 12-steps.

Through developing an action plan, a food plan, working out 6 days a week, swimming, elliptical, personal training, lectures, psychotherapy, group therapy, meetings, and personal prayer, my life changed over the 5 months that I lived in Minnesota. I celebrated certain milestones like winning the holiday weight loss challenge at the Rochester Athletic Club (RAC), where I lost 32 pounds over Thanksgiving and Christmas (who does that?). In total, I lost 102 lbs during the 5 month stay at Guest House.

I returned to the Diocese at the beginning of April, set in a new parish assignment in Springfield, MA. I have the knowledge of my food addiction, the support I need to continue to lose weight and maintain my new found recovery, and access to healthy food and a new gym. For those who struggle with food addictions, they know that every day is a challenge, and that is why we live our recovery one day at a time.

I am encouraged by so many people who have noticed the change that has taken place in my life, and by the interest that many have in exactly how I have been able to lose so much weight in a short amount of time. Though I am still on this journey myself, and would like to lose another 120lbs, I have tools that I am happy to share with you in this format. I can't expect that everyone will have the opportunity to take 5 months out of their time to focus on themselves, or will have the blessings of the resources that I have received, but the tools are out there if you use them one day at a time and have the courage to face the truth about food and weight. It's not all about the weight! The substance of a program of recovery from food addiction is inner change.

I can only hope that this blog will give others a bit of my experience, strength, and hope. I hope to share not only my struggles, but my accomplishments, faith, and joy. This is why I intend this blog not simply to be about weight loss, but about the truth of the faith which has brought me so far. Hence the name of this blog: The Weigh and the Truth: A Catholic priest on a weight loss journey.

Thanks for reading! Easter Blessings,

Fr Ryan