One of the most effective tools in managing weight is knowing exactly what you're putting in your body. This can be accomplished by any number of methods, keeping a food journal, counting points, counting calories, etc. There is a very easy tool which I use called myfitnesspal, and you can get it on your smartphone. Once set up, myfitnesspal includes an extensive search list for foods, a bar code scanner, social networking capabilities, and ways to track progress, calories, and carb/fat/protein percentages.
When you sit down to log what you eat immediately after, or preferably right before, you start to make better choices about what you eat. Once you know your basal metabolic rate (you can get that checked from a nutritionist, doctor, or a nice gym), you can effectively track your caloric intake and calories burned, so as to proceed towards a weight loss goal. Myfitnesspal also syncs to personal fitness trackers like fitbit, and will update your calories burned based on the activity measured.
If you get friends to join, myfitnesspal can provide a great method of accountability. The desktop version also includes forums where you can share goals and motivate others on the journey. Yesterday's Scripture readings about the early Church focus on how the disciples shared much in common for the good of the Church. Sharing your daily food journal by means of an app like myfitnesspal can help yourself and others to recover and to live the abundant life God wants you to live.
If you think it's too hard to start journaling, think about how hard it is to walk up the stairs when you've gained another 10 pounds. Once you get the hang of it, myfitnesspal becomes a normal and habitual way of eating. It will become easy. So do yourself a favor and give it a try. Know thy food.
Myfitnesspal
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Overeaters Obvious and BFF's
You can't run from being fat. You can't hide it at all. I want to say this with all sensitivity, as I know there are people out there that suffer from other eating disorders and body issues where they believe they are fat but really aren't. From my time in support groups I know that there are skinny people who overeat and who do suffer from food addiction, as well. But for the majority of food addicts the one unfortunate consequence is that you gain weight, and at a certain point you stop caring. You never stop caring about what people think, though. It's obvious to them that you have a problem. They can see it. It's obvious to you that you have a problem, but shame and those staring eyes have caused you to suppress your feelings, or they have forced you to eat to deal with the pain. There is no anonymity in this disease, at least until you learn to control it. As a priest once said, "We are overeaters obvious."
What to do about it? My process of healing was such that it took a great amount of effort and time with diet and exercise to where I felt comfortable to take my shirt off in the gym locker room, to plunge "lightly clad" into the hot tub there. It was a path of personal acceptance that involved so many factors, some of them very personal that I would only share with my closest friends.
And that's the number one factor: Friends. Friends that get you. Friends that get it.
If you are to embark on a journey of weight loss and recovery, you need friends that know you through and through. Friends that don't see the obvious, but see what's going on under all those layers that you've gained. You need friends that are going through the struggle, too, that know where you've been, that can give you their experience, strength and hope. You need an inner circle of people to whom you can say anything.
As a confessor, I know that some of us would rather save the inner most dirt for the confessional and live a truncated life where we hide under the seal of confession and go on eating to cope with the fact that we just can't make the change that we need to make. I did it for years. But breaking free from the power of the disease involves much more than confession (It's a wonderful and needed Sacrament, btw!). It involves being comfortable with the obvious and the not so obvious, the visible and the invisible. It involves having the freedom of knowing that there is somebody you can talk to at any hour of the day that either knows exactly what's going on or would be clued in if you just picked up that telephone and called or texted.
There will be friends that don't get it. That's the hardest thing to deal with. You might be tempted to write them out completely. Yet, remember that not everyone is equipped to deal with an addiction. Part of one's recovery process might be making amends to people that one has hurt in the midst of their active addiction, or even because of starting a process of recovery. Some friends will cease to be friends. This is perfectly normal and ok. As a now famous Disney movie says, let it go.
I say all of this as my best friend is hopping on a plane in France and flying to stay with me for two weeks. He came out to visit me in Minnesota, as did my older sister and another friend of mine. We're driving out to Pittsburgh next week to celebrate the wedding of some college friends. It'll be a Steubie reunion! I have been so incredibly blessed with good friends. I love them. They are the reason I have recovered the way I have. To my friends, thank you. It's not obvious why someone sticks around when you are in the midst of addiction, but a true and faithful friend always does.
What to do about it? My process of healing was such that it took a great amount of effort and time with diet and exercise to where I felt comfortable to take my shirt off in the gym locker room, to plunge "lightly clad" into the hot tub there. It was a path of personal acceptance that involved so many factors, some of them very personal that I would only share with my closest friends.
And that's the number one factor: Friends. Friends that get you. Friends that get it.
If you are to embark on a journey of weight loss and recovery, you need friends that know you through and through. Friends that don't see the obvious, but see what's going on under all those layers that you've gained. You need friends that are going through the struggle, too, that know where you've been, that can give you their experience, strength and hope. You need an inner circle of people to whom you can say anything.
As a confessor, I know that some of us would rather save the inner most dirt for the confessional and live a truncated life where we hide under the seal of confession and go on eating to cope with the fact that we just can't make the change that we need to make. I did it for years. But breaking free from the power of the disease involves much more than confession (It's a wonderful and needed Sacrament, btw!). It involves being comfortable with the obvious and the not so obvious, the visible and the invisible. It involves having the freedom of knowing that there is somebody you can talk to at any hour of the day that either knows exactly what's going on or would be clued in if you just picked up that telephone and called or texted.
There will be friends that don't get it. That's the hardest thing to deal with. You might be tempted to write them out completely. Yet, remember that not everyone is equipped to deal with an addiction. Part of one's recovery process might be making amends to people that one has hurt in the midst of their active addiction, or even because of starting a process of recovery. Some friends will cease to be friends. This is perfectly normal and ok. As a now famous Disney movie says, let it go.
I say all of this as my best friend is hopping on a plane in France and flying to stay with me for two weeks. He came out to visit me in Minnesota, as did my older sister and another friend of mine. We're driving out to Pittsburgh next week to celebrate the wedding of some college friends. It'll be a Steubie reunion! I have been so incredibly blessed with good friends. I love them. They are the reason I have recovered the way I have. To my friends, thank you. It's not obvious why someone sticks around when you are in the midst of addiction, but a true and faithful friend always does.
Monday, April 28, 2014
"From whence shall come my help?" -Ps 121:1
My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of the tornadoes that swept through the middle of the nation yesterday. I'm reminded of the passage from the Psalms where the psalmist is expectant that the God who made heaven and earth is able to help us, even in the midst of such tragedies. During the Easter season, we reflect on the Resurrection which only takes place after the crucifixion. I have been comforted in my own path of recovery by the fact that God is able to bring a greater good out of any evil that we must endure.
In the midst of addiction or terrible amounts of weight gain, one can be left stupefied by the situation. "How is it that I got here? How could I let myself go like this? Is there any hope for me left? Where can I find the help I need? Aren't all those weight loss solutions just gimmicks? I've tried everything, nothing is working, why can't I just lose the weight and keep it off?"
Step one of the twelve steps is the admittance of the situation. We admitted that we were powerless over our addictive behavior (or substance), that our lives had become unmanageable. Our lives have become totally out of our control. Our weight cannot be checked just by a few days of fasting or a couple days at the gym. It always seems to creep back. When we take that first bite of that troublesome binge food, we have no way of predicting how much of it we are going to eat. We can't stop the insanity. And now we need to admit it. We are powerless.
But from where does the power we need come? Step 2 gives us this. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The 12 Steps are reluctant to define this power as God, so as to be as inclusive as possible, but is pretty explicit in the next step (Step 3) that we made the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. In short the three steps can be summed up as "I can't. God can. I think I'll let him."
Recovery begins when we recognize the situation of our powerlessness, and realize where the power we need comes from. True surrender to this high power, to our loving and caring God, is the basis of the 12 step program of recovery. "From whence shall come my help? Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth."
In the midst of addiction or terrible amounts of weight gain, one can be left stupefied by the situation. "How is it that I got here? How could I let myself go like this? Is there any hope for me left? Where can I find the help I need? Aren't all those weight loss solutions just gimmicks? I've tried everything, nothing is working, why can't I just lose the weight and keep it off?"
Step one of the twelve steps is the admittance of the situation. We admitted that we were powerless over our addictive behavior (or substance), that our lives had become unmanageable. Our lives have become totally out of our control. Our weight cannot be checked just by a few days of fasting or a couple days at the gym. It always seems to creep back. When we take that first bite of that troublesome binge food, we have no way of predicting how much of it we are going to eat. We can't stop the insanity. And now we need to admit it. We are powerless.
But from where does the power we need come? Step 2 gives us this. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The 12 Steps are reluctant to define this power as God, so as to be as inclusive as possible, but is pretty explicit in the next step (Step 3) that we made the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. In short the three steps can be summed up as "I can't. God can. I think I'll let him."
Recovery begins when we recognize the situation of our powerlessness, and realize where the power we need comes from. True surrender to this high power, to our loving and caring God, is the basis of the 12 step program of recovery. "From whence shall come my help? Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth."
Sunday, April 27, 2014
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Divine Mercy, Sts. John Paul II and John XXIII, and recovery
Today the whole Church rejoices with the Second Sunday of Easter, also known as Divine Mercy Sunday, and the Canonizations by Pope Francis of Saints John Paul II and John XXIII. I have decided also on this day to begin blogging about my weight loss journey, after multiple requests, and after attending the Springfield Diocesan Women's Conference yesterday, where I was able to share a lot about my journey with many women who were congratulating me.
My Weight Loss journey in a nut shell:
I have struggled with my weight since I was a child, when my Father, who had already been separated from my family, decided to move back to Puerto Rico when he found out he had cancer. Since he left when I was nine and died from the cancer when I was 12, I started to gain weight, right around the time a child goes through major normal transitions in life. I slowly worked my way up to 300lbs, and then my senior year of high school I had a major knee injury and was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma within a span of months. After four months of chemo and radiation, I was cancer free, but could not continue the workouts in the gym that I had begun in school. After graduation, I moved on to university life, where I found a spiritual renewal of self at Franciscan University of Steubenville. My weight had shot up to 388, but I had a sort of spiritual awakening where I needed to take care of myself. I finally had enough strength to start working out and lost about 25 pounds with just little changes in diet and exercise.
I graduated from Franciscan in 2007, and from there entered St. John's Seminary in Boston to study to be a priest. Seminary life is rigorous, not only academically, but on so many other fronts. One really examines the person, in human, in intellectual, in pastoral, in spiritual terms. My spiritual awakening led to a true commitment to lose weight along with help from faculty, friends, and a nutritionist at a local hospital. I began to use a shake replacement system called Isagenix and working out with an elliptical machine and the P90X dvd workout system. In three short months I lost 70lbs and continued to lose weight over a year or so. My lowest weight in seminary was 268. I was in the best health of my adult life, finally at 24 years old.
As I grew closer to ordination, life started to change. Real responsibility, lots of travel, and growing stress started to take their toll on my resolutions and habits. I began a new post which would be my Diaconate parish in Westfield, MA. Every weekend I would travel back and forth between the seminary in Boston and the parish in Westfield. I started to eat on the go. I worked out less.
When I was ordained a priest, I had to move into the parish setting completely. We had a high school, a large Hispanic community, and lots of ministry. I had a lot of responsibility all at once. The stress started to increase. I coped with isolation and with food. Over the next year and a half I gained all the weight I had lost back. I tried to start working out again with a trainer and met with a dietician. I suffered a back injury and things at work weren't getting better. I became very depressed. I needed a change.
I asked for a transfer of parish, and this request took about 6 months. In that time I gained another 70 or so pounds. My health declined. My depression worsened. I finally was granted the transfer and my spirit was lifted.
But the unhealthy eating continued and the new regimen I wanted just couldn't get started on my own power. I began to realize that what I needed wasn't just a parish change, it was a change of my whole way of life. I began to make this known to certain people, especially my pastor, but wondered when I would get the time and energy to make the change.
Thankfully the decision was made for me. I received a call from my Bishop in September of 2013, calling me into his office to talk about my health. He graciously offered to me a treatment program in Rochester, MN called Guest House. Guest House is an addiction treatment facility for Catholic clergy and religious, run independently of the Church. I was angry at first about the timing, as I had some concerts and things planned, but when was it the right time? Obviously I needed a change right then!
I quickly packed and headed to Minnesota, not realizing that what lied ahead was the start of one of the coldest winters the Midwest has seen in years. I took it on faith that this would be the start of a different way of life for me. I arrived for a program that was not necessarily equipped to handle all the aspects of food addiction and weight loss, but contained great counseling, the support of other brother priests/deacons/brothers/seminarians struggling with different addictions, and the support of the 12-steps.
Through developing an action plan, a food plan, working out 6 days a week, swimming, elliptical, personal training, lectures, psychotherapy, group therapy, meetings, and personal prayer, my life changed over the 5 months that I lived in Minnesota. I celebrated certain milestones like winning the holiday weight loss challenge at the Rochester Athletic Club (RAC), where I lost 32 pounds over Thanksgiving and Christmas (who does that?). In total, I lost 102 lbs during the 5 month stay at Guest House.
I returned to the Diocese at the beginning of April, set in a new parish assignment in Springfield, MA. I have the knowledge of my food addiction, the support I need to continue to lose weight and maintain my new found recovery, and access to healthy food and a new gym. For those who struggle with food addictions, they know that every day is a challenge, and that is why we live our recovery one day at a time.
I am encouraged by so many people who have noticed the change that has taken place in my life, and by the interest that many have in exactly how I have been able to lose so much weight in a short amount of time. Though I am still on this journey myself, and would like to lose another 120lbs, I have tools that I am happy to share with you in this format. I can't expect that everyone will have the opportunity to take 5 months out of their time to focus on themselves, or will have the blessings of the resources that I have received, but the tools are out there if you use them one day at a time and have the courage to face the truth about food and weight. It's not all about the weight! The substance of a program of recovery from food addiction is inner change.
I can only hope that this blog will give others a bit of my experience, strength, and hope. I hope to share not only my struggles, but my accomplishments, faith, and joy. This is why I intend this blog not simply to be about weight loss, but about the truth of the faith which has brought me so far. Hence the name of this blog: The Weigh and the Truth: A Catholic priest on a weight loss journey.
Thanks for reading! Easter Blessings,
Fr Ryan
My Weight Loss journey in a nut shell:
I have struggled with my weight since I was a child, when my Father, who had already been separated from my family, decided to move back to Puerto Rico when he found out he had cancer. Since he left when I was nine and died from the cancer when I was 12, I started to gain weight, right around the time a child goes through major normal transitions in life. I slowly worked my way up to 300lbs, and then my senior year of high school I had a major knee injury and was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma within a span of months. After four months of chemo and radiation, I was cancer free, but could not continue the workouts in the gym that I had begun in school. After graduation, I moved on to university life, where I found a spiritual renewal of self at Franciscan University of Steubenville. My weight had shot up to 388, but I had a sort of spiritual awakening where I needed to take care of myself. I finally had enough strength to start working out and lost about 25 pounds with just little changes in diet and exercise.
I graduated from Franciscan in 2007, and from there entered St. John's Seminary in Boston to study to be a priest. Seminary life is rigorous, not only academically, but on so many other fronts. One really examines the person, in human, in intellectual, in pastoral, in spiritual terms. My spiritual awakening led to a true commitment to lose weight along with help from faculty, friends, and a nutritionist at a local hospital. I began to use a shake replacement system called Isagenix and working out with an elliptical machine and the P90X dvd workout system. In three short months I lost 70lbs and continued to lose weight over a year or so. My lowest weight in seminary was 268. I was in the best health of my adult life, finally at 24 years old.
As I grew closer to ordination, life started to change. Real responsibility, lots of travel, and growing stress started to take their toll on my resolutions and habits. I began a new post which would be my Diaconate parish in Westfield, MA. Every weekend I would travel back and forth between the seminary in Boston and the parish in Westfield. I started to eat on the go. I worked out less.
When I was ordained a priest, I had to move into the parish setting completely. We had a high school, a large Hispanic community, and lots of ministry. I had a lot of responsibility all at once. The stress started to increase. I coped with isolation and with food. Over the next year and a half I gained all the weight I had lost back. I tried to start working out again with a trainer and met with a dietician. I suffered a back injury and things at work weren't getting better. I became very depressed. I needed a change.
I asked for a transfer of parish, and this request took about 6 months. In that time I gained another 70 or so pounds. My health declined. My depression worsened. I finally was granted the transfer and my spirit was lifted.
But the unhealthy eating continued and the new regimen I wanted just couldn't get started on my own power. I began to realize that what I needed wasn't just a parish change, it was a change of my whole way of life. I began to make this known to certain people, especially my pastor, but wondered when I would get the time and energy to make the change.
Thankfully the decision was made for me. I received a call from my Bishop in September of 2013, calling me into his office to talk about my health. He graciously offered to me a treatment program in Rochester, MN called Guest House. Guest House is an addiction treatment facility for Catholic clergy and religious, run independently of the Church. I was angry at first about the timing, as I had some concerts and things planned, but when was it the right time? Obviously I needed a change right then!
I quickly packed and headed to Minnesota, not realizing that what lied ahead was the start of one of the coldest winters the Midwest has seen in years. I took it on faith that this would be the start of a different way of life for me. I arrived for a program that was not necessarily equipped to handle all the aspects of food addiction and weight loss, but contained great counseling, the support of other brother priests/deacons/brothers/seminarians struggling with different addictions, and the support of the 12-steps.
Through developing an action plan, a food plan, working out 6 days a week, swimming, elliptical, personal training, lectures, psychotherapy, group therapy, meetings, and personal prayer, my life changed over the 5 months that I lived in Minnesota. I celebrated certain milestones like winning the holiday weight loss challenge at the Rochester Athletic Club (RAC), where I lost 32 pounds over Thanksgiving and Christmas (who does that?). In total, I lost 102 lbs during the 5 month stay at Guest House.
I returned to the Diocese at the beginning of April, set in a new parish assignment in Springfield, MA. I have the knowledge of my food addiction, the support I need to continue to lose weight and maintain my new found recovery, and access to healthy food and a new gym. For those who struggle with food addictions, they know that every day is a challenge, and that is why we live our recovery one day at a time.
I am encouraged by so many people who have noticed the change that has taken place in my life, and by the interest that many have in exactly how I have been able to lose so much weight in a short amount of time. Though I am still on this journey myself, and would like to lose another 120lbs, I have tools that I am happy to share with you in this format. I can't expect that everyone will have the opportunity to take 5 months out of their time to focus on themselves, or will have the blessings of the resources that I have received, but the tools are out there if you use them one day at a time and have the courage to face the truth about food and weight. It's not all about the weight! The substance of a program of recovery from food addiction is inner change.
I can only hope that this blog will give others a bit of my experience, strength, and hope. I hope to share not only my struggles, but my accomplishments, faith, and joy. This is why I intend this blog not simply to be about weight loss, but about the truth of the faith which has brought me so far. Hence the name of this blog: The Weigh and the Truth: A Catholic priest on a weight loss journey.
Thanks for reading! Easter Blessings,
Fr Ryan
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