Big E success!

I was joking with my friends that there should be an ambassador of health for the Big E. Someone was like, you should write a blog about losing weight at the fair. For those of you who don't know, the Big E is the largest fair in the Northeast, and is held every September here in West Springfield. 

The crazy amounts of food can be overwhelming to anyone, from the Big E creampuffs to the deep fried whatever you can think of. If you aren't paying attention, I think anyone instantly gains a pound when they walk in the gate. But, that's if you're not paying attention! 

The truth is, this food addict made it through the Big E season without gaining a pound! Here's the breakdown:

1. I walked pretty much 15000-20000 steps a day each time I went to the Big E. And I went probably 5-6 times this year. 

2. I completely avoided trigger foods. I had to say goodbye to the famous cheese curds and the buckets of wings. 

3. I logged all my food. This can be hard at the fair, but it's a must. Today we celebrate St Jerome who said Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. Well, ignorance of what you're eating is ignorance of how to lose weight. 

4. On days in which I may have overindulgence, say at the V-One tent---shout out to my good friend Paul Kozub---the next day was followed with a cleanse of sorts, and increased cardio at the gym. 

5. I began taking spinning classes. 45 minutes and 15-19 miles on a bike = bingo. 

6. I had fun. 

The Big E was a huge success this year. And even though some of the days I feel like I'm plateauing, I have to remember that in September I've lost 15 pounds l, 5 lbs more than the 10 pound per month average as of late. That is a huge success for me!

I want to thank Mr Cassidy and the Big E staff for allowing me to say Mass under the Big Top of the Big E Circus this year. It was an experience I hope to repeat next year. They taught us in seminary that the priest is not a ringmaster at the circus. Well, not all things you learn in seminary pan out in ministry!!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Jesus was made present under a several story high daredevil motorcycle rig. Pretty darn cool. 

Dropping the Rock

On my trip to Guest House it was impressed upon us that the 6th and 7th steps are really important milestones of recovery that we should be accomplishing about 6 months outside of treatment. 

Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

For me, I've been stuck on these steps for months. I have so many resentments that I harbor. Yes, I can bring them to confession, yes I can talk about them with people that I trust. But it is so hard psychologically to let go of the weight of what others have done to you when they themselves are in no position to make amends or deal with their own character defects. 

The image was given to us of a swimmer coming to shore, but this swimmer is carrying a gigantic rock. This rock symbolizes all the character defects and resentments one is carrying. Because of the weight it is nearly impossible for the swimmer to swim to shore. In fact the swimmer is exhausted and might even start to sink. The thing is, intuitively the swimmer knows the right thing to do is let go of it, but he or she just keeps holding on, is if it's a life preserver. All the swimmer needs to do is drop the rock. 

Of course, steps 6 and 7 involve a power greater than ourselves which can help us to do that. At the end of the day, I can run to the cross for my strength. I need to becoming willing to let God do what I cannot do for myself. Maybe I can't drop these resentments on my own. God, help me drop the rock! 

Triumphant return to Minnesota

Last week I was able to return to Guest House for a sixth month continuing care retreat. Let's say the return was triumphant. I made my 50lbs weight loss goal since leaving Guest House, and weighed in at the RAC at 311, -153lbs lighter than when I began there Oct 22nd of last year. 

I was filled with emotion as I met other guest house alums, and we marveled mutually at our transformations. I am so inspired by my brothers. The retreat was focused on the dangers of relapse and fully entering into the 12 steps. The danger is real, as some of us have really struggled. It is great to take this moment and reevaluate some of my behaviors so as to give my recovery the greatest chance of success. 

It is sad to see Guest House shut down in Rochester. There are some significant challenges it faces ahead in its transition to Michigan. The administration has asked me to make some recommendations for the food addiction program, as they have the opportunity to craft a new program in a new location. I am happy to see the number of Damascus clients growing. Dioceses are becoming aware of the needs of their priests for recovery from compulsive eating and for weight loss. I believe it will be incumbent on the program to integrate these key aspects of recovery. 

I was very sad to leave the RAC. I likely won't be returning to Rochester, unless it is for my 12 step community, to which I owe a debt of gratitude. I hope I can stay in touch with my trainers and friends in recovery. I just wish I could transport it all to Massachusetts. 

Returning to Springfield is hard, but I am motivated to keep up my recovery here. I want to lose another 80lbs by June 2nd. I'm going to need to hunker down and focus on cutting out extra calories. With the Big e and with a great harvest season ahead, it should prove a bit of a challenge. Staying strong in the grace of God, and with my support system. I will always remember Minnesota.